You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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