As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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