I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
