im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
