seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
