I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize