I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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