Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
