is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
