dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
