you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
