bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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