i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize