she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
