We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I need help removing her.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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