I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize