i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
