He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
