She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
