you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
