I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
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