your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
