It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
