I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
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