So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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