Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
