i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
