I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
