see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize