i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I wish I only lived at night.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
