I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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