i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
