Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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