hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
