I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
