I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
