What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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