Well douche your snatch and let's go!
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
