If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize