I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
last night I used snow as a chaser
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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