I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
