i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Dignity is for republicans.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
