Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
