He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize