Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
