Will you blow on my dice?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
