drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
