can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
