margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
