Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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