Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
