I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
