ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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