did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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