I just saw a hot homeless man
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
