Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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