but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
