So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
