i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
