If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
sex in a hospital.. check
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
