how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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