ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
