i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
