So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
