Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
